Sunday, March 03, 2013

When The Time Is deep, dark and lonely~



This story bagged a Silver Baton....



This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 37; the thirty-seventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "and then there were none"



The first time I woke after several hours in the hospital bed, I knew something was seriously wrong. There was severe pain, as if, a series of operations were carried out on my body. Groggy after coming out of a deep sleep, a sense of catastrophe gripped me as I groped my way to awareness.

The room was over-heated, and I was sweating under the blanket. Fluorescent lights humming against the ceiling, seemed perfectly tuned to the hollow and labored groans of the ward. The air was thick with cleaning liquids, phenyls, scents of medicines and Savlon; soft whispers of the doctors and nurses, and the beeping of life support systems made everything eerie…my eyes drifted towards the right bed. A tea-tray, neatly decked with white porcelain tea-pot, a plate of biscuits and the sliced lemon was formally waiting. The young patient looked terribly pale and fragile; however, seemed peaceful with those IV tubes attached to her wrist. A soft thumbnail crested on her fingertip looked ridiculous. My eyes, fierce in concentration continued searching …

Two nurses were making an empty bed at a distance; a man wearing an orange plaid jacket and rubber gloves broke the path, swinging a bucket in his hands. As he brushed past the curtain… a yellow brittle light billowed dust. Looking at the light, I had an urge to get up and walk to the window... I tried to raise myself, but, my exhausted body refused to move. The oft-repeated trials gave me a wringing pain around the shoulders; I turned around, and froze….both my arm were gone: all that remained were a pair of stumps, heavily swathed in thick bandages. It was incredibly difficult to think of myself as disabled or handicapped....

My two year old daughter’s face floated in front of my eyes; afraid of uncertainties I wanted to scream but I lacked the strength. Perhaps, the strong tranquilizers were taming my nerves, arteries and mind. I kept breathing; heartbeat after heartbeat was the only measure of time… 

At an age of thirty six, the car-crash had me completely destroyed physically. Children often exhibit a fearful response at the sight of a crippled or deformed person. I started thinking about my little baby... wondered, how she'd react looking at my deformity... I feared, it would scare her little heart. Now I had both, the suffering as well as the guilt.

I looked towards the transparent glass-door; my husband was talking to a bunch of people, mostly office people I thought… My eyes were searching for my little girl…strayed; she was nowhere in the vicinity.

I was wide awake now, though head was still full of confusion. Suddenly a figure moved closer at the foot of my bed, lumbered forward and pressed my shoulder tenderly. He ran a cold hand over my forehead. It was Dilip, my husband. I couldn't talk, my tongue just shriveled at the back of my mouth.... it was dry, leathery and hard. He smiled pulling the blanket over me. This was his way of murmuring consolations. There were dark shadows under his eyes; I realized, reality can never match up to the pictures we tend to display.Looking at his disheveled look, I felt very sorry for him. 

But, now I was all ready to find out more about me …about my recovery…and the reality! He recognized the anxiety and broke his stony silence this time. 

He said,’ Don’t you worry, sweetheart. You'll live for hundred years---and without any body's help!! All will be well. In another, two-three months, the specialists are going to fit a prosthetic (artificial) device, and then start with the rehabilitation process….’, he said looking into my eyes. His voice was shaky, quivering a bit....but I believed in what he said. He was one, I knew, who'd been scrupulously honest. So, his words gave me the strength. However,...I was deeply anxious about my two year old! 

‘Oh Dilip,’ I moaned weakly…'but, who is going to look after me in the hospital for all these months? And most importantly, who will look after our baby…?? Your boss won't consider giving you long leave at this point of time!'

He saw the anguish in my eyes; his face flushed, but, not in anger or pain.I saw a strange relief on his face, he looked alive and more or less normal.

‘Honey, don’t worry, I am here… The company has handed pink slips to many senior executives--- I am one of them…but, darling, whatever happens…happens for good. I am here to help you…we’ll fight it out together and see the light one day; hence, smile, feel special ....never give up!’ 

I was listening. There was a heaving inside me....our breaths somehow mingled, as though we were one body. I stared at my savior's face... so earnest, he was....

There was a quiet moment, I mumbled nervously:’ And, what about Mini…her future, her dreams, Dilip?’

‘I have some more wonderful news. We have our parents willing to back us at last....They have forgiven us. Apparently, they have realized that it is possible to pair off two people from different castes, backgrounds and they make marriages successful. 

They’re already in the house, taking care of your home, your child, your husband and helping us in this time of struggle. I've got a job already. The new job has offered me a good hike…we can now look for a four bed-roomed, company-owned apartment in plush Worli sea-face. In any case, I'd been toying with the idea of selling the present small flat and taking a bigger one, as you know.

I heard Dilip...he came like a woodpecker, pecking at my heart. Colors tumbled within me as inside a kaleidoscope. Truth is stranger than fiction.

I murmured a quote: “I long to believe in immortality. . . . If I am destined to be happy with you here--how short is the longest life. I wish to believe in immortality--I wish to live with you forever."

I asked: ‘Who said that, Dilip?’

‘Keats to his beloved Fanny Browne in a letter’.

I marveled at Keat's words…surely his thoughts were sincerely unique.



The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: BLOGGER NAME, Participation Count: 09 

87 comments:

  1. What a well woven and ambitious story this is, Panchali. I was caught in the characters and the situation as I read. I was relieved that it ended on an optimistic note, that her husband had an answer for each of her worries! I loved the Keats' words conclusion!

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    1. Mary, Thank you so much for the compliment.. I am glad I came up to your expectations...:)Somehow I wanted to use that quote in the story..Smiles.
      Thanks!

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  2. Wow....thats a really nice and well written post. I loved the story. All the best for both BAT as well as WOW!

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    1. Thank you for getting involved with the story, Nandini.:)) ATB to you too!!

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    1. awww..thanks Manjulika. I am so glad....

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  4. The kaleidoscope and Keat's words were so delicate. A superb composition.
    Silly Smiles... Take you Miles :)


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    1. That was a lovely compliment...dotty! Keep inspiring your on-line Maa...:)))xoxo

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  5. beautifully written and an apt end :))
    loved the way how it shows that its darkest before the Dawn !!!
    wish u all d very best for BAT & WOW

    do drop in at:
    - Don't Whine

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    1. Loved the second line of your comment...beautifully expresed.
      Thanks so much for the encouragement, Karan...

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  6. An interesting story with an optimistic note.
    I send greetings.
    Lucia

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    1. Lucia....Thank you for the visit... your comments thrill me always.. :))))
      xoxo

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  7. Oh this is so touching and beautiful in a way....
    Hope and love..... lovely....

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    1. Sreeja, Thanks for the lovely comment... coming from you that's quite a compliment....!!:)
      Thank you.

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  8. spreading hope... a very optimistic post.

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    1. Thanks little rat...Pleasure to have you here always:))

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  9. Wonderful plot..so finely treated:)
    Great work, Panchali! All the best:)

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    1. Amit, I guess This is what one writes for... this understanding. You gave that to me today... Thank you...:))

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  10. Hello Panchaliji:)

    Your beautiful and creative posts have forced me to reward your blog with the 'creative blogger award'...Congratulations:)

    For more visit my post:
    http://stillettomaniac.blogspot.in/2013/03/my-first-blog-awardthe-cba-d.html

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    1. Thank you for the award, Bushra. I am on cloud nine...:)))

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  11. A wonderful message there, loved the picture accompanying the beautiful story. Tough times never last but tough men do - how true! :)

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    1. Arti, Loved your last line and this is something I believe..!!Pleasure to have you here... and to get your feedback... :)))
      Thanks a ton!:)

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  12. Wonderful tale well narrated!

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    1. Thanks a bunch for giving me a thumbs up, Deepak... :))))

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  13. A very poignant story narrated beautifully.You are a fine poetess and today I after reading the story, I can say you are an ALL ROUNDER !!

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    1. WOW...thanks a ton, Usha. You are so good for my ego girl...! Your comment is such a relief... I thought I had muddled up the story. This story-writing makes me nervous. I am pleased you liked this...:))
      Thanks a lot!

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  14. A very well narrated story,, I felt a sense of utopia. I wish everybody's life was that good. Wherein sacrificing limbs didn't meant sacrificing self respect and love.

    Loved it.

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    1. Awww...Meenakshi, you made my day for the whole of next week.... :))Thank you!

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  15. All is weel that ends well :) I feel touched everytime i read a well narrated story . Life grants you such little miracles , when least expected ! Loved the post ma'm ! :)

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    1. What a compliment...! Wow...! Thank you, Maliny for making me happy! Yeah, those little miracles are big blessings from Almighty!! Glad you enjoyed reading the story. Am not so confident in writing stories...
      Thanks:))

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  16. wonderfully penned :) I liked the flow and ending that could never be better than this one :)

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    1. What a lovely comment, Saurabh! Your presence here has thrilled me. Thanks...:)

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  17. Such a sweet and heart touching story!! Excellent narration ma'm!
    I really loved that kaleidoscope and woodpecker line!

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    1. To win that kind of compliment from you has made my day..Valli!!Yea...the woodpecker keeps pecking at my heart...:))
      Thanks a ton...!!

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  18. Brilliant- The way it started- i thought it is going to be a sad ending..but bravo - you surprised with a sweet loving end to the great struggle.

    All the best for BAT 37 - I see some bright chances of you taking atleast 1 medal this time :)

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    1. Viyoma...wow! your comment has inspired me immensely!! Must read your entry now....I am glad you enjoyed reading this! It's a joy to read such a comment. Thanks a ton:)

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    1. Thanks Mukhtiar for your visit and comments.

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  20. I read the story in a single breath ...n number of thoughts formed crests and troughs through the entire read ..such a brilliant smooth narration and how magically you added a positive, promising note at the end ..kudos to the idea behind the story..again a kudos to the optimistic approach..All the best for BAT

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    1. wow odyzz...Thank you for your uplifting words, and for the kudos. I am delighted!!!xoxo

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  21. Aww.. such a sweet sweet story this is. A husband's love and support for his wife, a mother's anxiety calmed by her own parents, fears brushed gently aside by affection and togetherness... so many beautiful elements to this story.

    Loved it, Ma'am.

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    1. Mixi...Thank you !! I am glad you could relate to all the elements so accurately. It feels wonderful to have a precious reader like you. Thanks so much :)))

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  22. A brilliant story...and yes hope is something we live our lives for...Amazing...tenderness...this is a peach of a story loved it all the way Panchali mam

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    1. Anjan..Thank you for the appreciation... I am happy you liked this... :))Thank you... you've made my week...:))))!!

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  23. great work ! touching ...i loved the fact that it ened on such a positive note !

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    1. Yes, I wanted to give it a positive ending..little things eep us moving forward in life, TTT!! Thanks!!

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  24. Beautiful story and your inimical style adds luster to it. Your flair for portrayal of characters is flawless.

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    1. Thanks Eashwar, coming from you, it means a lot!! Thank you.

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  25. i loved your story. Your writing is lyrical.

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    1. Glad you enjoyed, bellybytes. I have to read your entry..I shall be there soon :))) Thanks!!

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  26. Panchali, your writing takes my breath away--you are so talented! It is always a pleasure to read your blog posts!

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    1. Thank you, MM... you've made my day...:)))) To win respect from those you respect and honor is the biggest high in the world... :))
      Thank you for the appreciation..I am delighted:)))))

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  27. This is so sweet. As usual, nice story strung together with pearls.

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    1. Awww..thank you,Meoww for the pat on the back. I am thrilled!!:)

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  28. Hope and the promise of immortality: stuff that keeps humanity going.

    Damyanti
    Co-host, A to Z Challenge 2013

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    1. Exactly my thoughts, Damayanti. Welcome aboard...Good to meet you. Thanks for stopping by...
      Hope to see you more on these pages!

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  29. Hope, hope, hope is all that we have and all that is needed for the spirit to take on with life! :)

    loved it. the slow built up culminating into hope was fantastic! Di. :)

    Novel...

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    1. Novel...Yes, what we would do without these little hopes in our lives? It is hope that keeps us moving....Delighted to have your comment on the post.
      So very glad that you enjoyed this. Thanks so much!:)

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  30. Expressive! I liked the way you described the hospital scene. Hope is so enticing. Wish you all the very best for WOW and BAT. Incidentally, I have also managed to participate for WOW this time.

    Geetashree
    http://panaecea.wordpress.com

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    1. Vanderloost!! Thanks for coming by... its a pleasure to see you here. I read your entry today...and WOW!!! Kudos gurl...
      Would love to read you more...:))
      Do visit again, please.

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  31. I am speechless. Very moving take, Sheer excellant take.
    KUDOS

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    1. Welcome Rio De La Sciocco. Thanks for your wonderful words of appreciation. Am thrilled you liked this... :)) Hope to see you more often on these pages...Thank you!

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  32. lovely story nd all d bst for BAT
    ...indeed its hope dat we can cling on when every other thing falls apart :)

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    1. Saikat,
      Thank you so much for your visit here and leaving your perceptive comment...Hope has extraordinary grace and strength, so it is better not to oust them...thanks:)

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  33. Your description of the hospital scene was so vivid,i almost went into depression.But the ending erased those feelings.
    All the best Panchali!!!

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    1. Indu...Really glad to read your appreciation. The description is a recount of my real-life experience in ICU, after I had a heart attack. The helplessness, anxiety and fear are still in so fresh in my mind.
      Glad I didn't disappoint you, Indu.
      Thanks a ton...:))hugz

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  34. You have amazing story telling skills! Loved the ending :) After-all happy endings are possible in truth and fiction, alike!

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    1. Akanksha, Thanks for appreciating my efforts.I have missed many of your old posts,shall look them up soon! Such a pleasure seeing you here. Thanks a lot!!:)

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  35. Wonderful writing .. Your descriptions are so realistic and brings the place you wish to describe alive in front of the reader's eye.

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    1. Welcome to my space Aarthy. My purpose is best served when readers can relate well to what I'm trying to convey.. Thank you so much for the generous appreciation. Thanks a bunch!:)

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  36. Wonderfully crafted, i loved the optimism in the end :D
    I am inspired for happy endings n ow :D

    ATB for BAT Maam

    -Snuffles Jay
    Do Drop by here someday

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    1. Snuffles!! Thank you so much for your appreciative comment ... That made me really feel great..:))))) Thanks a lot! Must read your entry now...shall be there soon!:)

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  37. as usual...outstanding...Panchali...you outrun yourself everytime

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    1. Thank you for a wonderful comment, the factfiction!! You made my day today. :))) I hope I will see you more often on these pages.

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  38. What a beautiful post.like soft streaks of light in the darkness this one illuminated my heart.What a lovely character have you created and those words of Keats....master stroke.

    love
    namita

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    1. Namita, Thank you so much for appreciating this writeup!! So were we reading each others' posts simultaneously !!??? This is telepathy...:)) Delighted to have your wonderful feedback on this emotive piece. Thanks re...:)))
      love,
      Panchali

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  39. I like stories with positive endings and in addition this was so well written - as always!

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    1. wow aativas...what a lovely comment!!!!...permit myself to feel pleased.:))))
      Thanks a lot!

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  40. very optimistic story,loved reading it

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    1. Glad you enjoyed, cifar. Thanks for stopping by....

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  41. So this is called as the beautification of life. Wow..Wonderful conversations..I can use my fev word here..Heights of Awesomeness...:) :)

    Tnq Panchaliji for en-lighting the world to show how people should live with loved ones or we can say with fellow human beings..:) :)

    ATB for BAT 37

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    1. Oh, wow!! Thanks for the wonderful feedback, Vajra! Great compliment indeed!!I am grateful...

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  42. Great narration!! It's an absolute pleasure to read your story. No wonder you are best every time!!

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    1. Thanks Viva-andya, for your kind words. Am so pleased :)) Thank you.

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  43. Congratulation on the Silver Batom. What a lovely, positive story! The cynic in me was worried through out. But all was well till the end. What a dear husband !!
    Sorry, have not been regular but you are always in my heart.
    Wish you many more Batoms :D

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    1. Ghaz...I know, you are no more a idle...soh maaf kia! But, I miss reading your precious stories/poems! You must start writing, at least, during the weekends!
      Thanks a lot!:))

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  44. It is very intriguing, i was hooked to each and every word till the conversation of husband-wife started, before that it was moving to the extent that you feel you are present in the room and witnessing what she is feeling. Ending was a surprise. :)

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