‘I am writing a Tribute to Mom in association with
Parentous.com
The moment I read the above line, I nodded and decided to
dive into my family pond. The environment of my home was built on principles
derived from traditional values nurtured through ages of a Bengali society.
Like every Bengali home, my upbringing was also designed to promote performing
arts along with formal academics.
My mother was not formally trained in music,but, singing
came to her naturally. The sheer grandeur of ragas, or the sublime beauty of
thumri, dadra, alaap mesmerized her deeply. She had a sweet, melodious voice,
so she could sing light classical songs quite effortlessly. She started my
informal music training at home pretty early, so that the mind gets focused on
fostering a love of music during the formative years..Later, of course, I took
my formal music training from Gandharva Maha Vidyalaya, under the guidance of
Pt. Vinay Chandra Maudgalya: he's fondly called Bhai-jee! I completed 'alankar' along with my formal academic education.It wasn't easy, but Maa gave me the tenacity and unwavering support,
hope and encouragement whenever it was needed...
I gave vocal performances in music concertos, radio and TV;
bagged some awards as well...The perennial conviction that those who work hard
and play by the rules will be rewarded with a more stronger future was taught
to me by my mother, and it sounds so true!
I am not only grateful for the rich and varied opportunities my mother
created for me, but I am grateful to her for having taught me to worship music.
Music is priceless. Today, when my vocal chord is slackening with age--Ah,
that's the last thing I ever expected in my life. I have to really strain to
sing now. And when I sing on a higher pitch, the voice breaks, makes a squeaky,
screechy sound, and makes me tired from exertion.But, it is nice that I can at
least, appreciate, enjoy listening to songs, music still perks up my spirit.
Thankfully, since I grew up with music, I am emotionally attached to the sounds
of music...
Maa was a graduate in mathematics from Dacca University, a
prestigious educational institution of undivided Bengal. Her family crossed
over to West Bengal in 1946 following an outbreak of communal violence in East
Pakistan and settled down in Delhi; and their search for jobs began. With the
Partition, refugees were given the option of taking up jobs on either side of
the border, according to their qualifications. So, my Maa also got a job-offer
and received training at the Army Head Quarters…and started off her career as a
statistical Assistant, with Ministry of Home Affairs. She continued to work and
eventually superannuated in 1988.
In the spring of
1966, my dad was transferred to Udaipur. But, maa didn’t quit her job. I still
remember, the monster in me behaved hideously ...being the apple of daddy's
eyes, and a bit pampered at that, I only made things difficult and added to her
problems. But, my mother drew me tighter and tighter with her calm and
systematic counselings. My dad took my elder brother away and I, gently latched
on to Maa like a baby-monkey…
Maa and I spent twelve long years together. And during these
years, a strong bond between us actually blossomed. This is the time, when I
saw every shade and texture of a mother, a self-respecting woman in her. Living
all by herself, she not only enforced an identity for herself, but instilled
basic values, courage and elements of feminine ego, (though not what we truly
mean by femininity) and pride in me.I admire my Mom’s strength more as a woman
today!!
She had made a decision and she stuck to it by all means-
that was her strength!! She made sincere
effort to remove the small irritants and usher in a path leading to harmony.
Those days, all our vacations were spent in Udaipur with my father and brother;
summer holidays were spent on traveling, touring together...The days were too
few but the joys aplenty!! Dad joined us soon after his retirement, by then my
brother had started working and was back in Delhi too!
My mother was a fighter. Even after her second diagnosis of
cancer, she fought to have the life she wanted in her final years. She knew
cancer would end her life soon, so she decided to spend time in Kolkata
surrounded by her family, brothers and sisters.
She left us on 23rd, April’96...
Today, being a mother myself, while speculating on different
aspects of a mother's life, I feel fame, wealth, status are actually petty
substitutes for the joys of motherhood.No pleasure in life can be greater than
looking at the blissful faces of children, who have the knack of making mothers
feel wanted in the world!!I am blessed with one myself!
